Happy Freaking Easter
April 9, 2012

HOT CROSS BUNS!

Hot cross buns!
Hot cross buns!
One ha’ penny, two ha’ penny,
Hot cross buns!
If you have no daughters,
Give them to your sons
One ha’ penny,
Two ha’ penny,
Hot Cross Buns!

Of course, I can’t just say, “Happy Easter,” and be done with it. No, no! I have to make an alternative Easter punk rock greeting card. Who will every want to watch this? Punks? No. Catholics? No. Oddballs? Perhaps.

Anybody know any oddballs? If so, please forward this video to them. Maybe they’ll understand my rebound on the whole Easter bunny thing.

First, I got nothing against chocolate footballs and jelly beans. Love ’em. Don’t need a special holiday to serve those in the Jump Household. We might grind ’em all up and make ice cream or cookies with them. How’s that sound?

Where’s my audience? Where’s my call to action? is the audience just supposed to eat or get hungry or what?

Hahaha… yeah, like I care. But I will gripe a little bit. They sure don’t do easter like they used to do easter. I have memories of poorly fitting shoes, unbearably long Catholic services, and Grandmas who spit on their hanky and try to wipe the mole off the side of my face.

Yeah, yeah, happy easter. Anyway, these were old school hot cross buns. They had the little bits of fruitcake in them. They were so old skool that I really didn’t like ’em. They reminded me of every fruitcake I couldn’t stand to eat.

But very German, nonetheless. Ameri-German, I would think. I don’t mean that in bad way or anything, Germans are awesome. They are very friendly and warm. They’re great. I mean it in like the old hold-over German bakery sense. They’re getting harder to find.

Whatever. The crosses are for Jesus. Nobody would dispute that.

Jimmyjumpnjive Easter 2012